I had a free week.
I won a visitor’s pass to a luxury athletic club not far from where I work. It was like getting to test drive a Ferrari — something mere mortals like me rarely experience.
If I were to rate the establishment on Google, I’d probably give it 5 stars. But would I ever join? No.
One simple barrier keeps me from making that part of my lifestyle… I can’t afford it.
Yes, it was great to put my clothes in a mahogany-faced locker. I loved the gourmet shampoo and body wash (in two flavors). I liked the fact that I could get a few free initial consultations with a professional trainer, so I could learn how to exercise better.
But for approximately five times what 24-Hour Fitness charges, I can’t justify the hit to our monthly expenses.
Heck, I can’t even justify 24-Hour Fitness at the moment.
Gotta stick with free bicycle commutes.
(I took the photo from the balcony, overlooking the tennis courts.)
It all started with spilled coffee at a McDonald’s drive-through.*
Well, not really. Our American tendency to sue for everything probably started long before that.
How many people would buy a CD and give the thin plastic wrapper to their baby and say, “Play with this wrapper — it will do you no harm”?
Anyone who reads magazines today is used to flipping past pharmaceutical ads that use two full pages of fine print after the actual ad that could be summed up in one simple sentence: “Use of this drug is possibly dangerous, and you should consult with your doctor before using.” The television equivalent is 10 seconds at the end of an ad that are some of that fine print, read at 300 words a minute.
Please, please, America…
Just don’t be stupid.
* That incident happened in 1994. And she won the case.
I don’t do teeth whitening.
Before you read further, please understand that I am not judging anyone who likes to do teeth whitening. This is merely a description of my personal journey.
The photo above is my teeth — altered by Photoshop. Reality is dark, stained teeth that have seen years of coffee drinking, tetracycline ingestion as a kid, and general abuse. (However, many of you know that I am a fan of toothpaste.)
Why don’t I invest in making my teeth whiter?
- Time. It would either require a laborious application of teeth-whitening strips or several visits to a dentist. And then, a year from now, more of the same.
- Money. Strips are expensive, and visits to the dentist for whitening are more so.
- Lack of caring about cultural trends. I don’t care enough about what our culture values to participate in this particular exercise.
- Saving the whales. Studies have shown that excessive use of white strips causes stunted growth in fetal whales, from the chemicals being washed out to sea and entering plankton.
Well, that last one is made up.
Lincoln bought the emperor’s new clothes.
This ad appeared in the February 2017 Fast Company magazine (in a very high-priced spot — the inside front cover). Lincoln paid a massive amount of money for the ad series, shot by renowned photographer Annie Leibovitz.
Agency Hudson Rouge made out like a bandit.
But Lincoln did not think about their real audience. Showing a 20-something person behind the wheel of a $60,000-ish luxury car, newly-minted from a marque typically bought by people above 60, will not make 20-something people want to buy one. Nor will it make 60-year olds who want to be 20-something want to buy one.
No matter how much the critics like the car.
Yes, it would have been appropriate for Lincoln to push the envelope in their marketing — but not so far.
Maybe they should have put kids under 10 behind the wheel — that audience will need to buy cars, eventually.
Many of us are still trying to figure out how Mr. Trump won. Whether or not you like him and what he represents — or the Democratic party and what they represent — one thing is certain — we do not know what tomorrow brings.
Alfa Romeo is trying to make inroads onto our roads. The Giulia Quadrifoglio is a beautiful high-performance four-door sedan. Car critics are praising it from their rooftops.
But American has largely abandoned the four-door sedan. As you know, crossovers (suburbia-biased SUVs) have taken over.
Conventional wisdom from car manufacturers dictates introducing a flagship top-of-the-line vehicle to generate excitement in America about other vehicles they have to offer.
I would like to respectfully disagree with that wisdom.
They should have launched an affordable but exciting small crossover. They will sell a crossover — the Stelvio. But it is priced in a similar range as the Quadrifoglio (more than $70,000) — out of the range of most Americans.
Start at the bottom and work your way up. It worked for Mr. Trump.
Photo courtesy of Alfa Romeo UK — and used without permission. (If you live in the UK, go out and buy a Quadrifoglio now, and they will be happy.)