It all started with spilled coffee at a McDonald’s drive‐through.*
Well, not really. Our American tendency to sue for everything probably started long before that.
How many people would buy a CD and give the thin plastic wrapper to their baby and say, “Play with this wrapper — it will do you no harm”?
Anyone who reads magazines today is used to flipping past pharmaceutical ads that use two full pages of fine print after the actual ad that could be summed up in one simple sentence: “Use of this drug is possibly dangerous, and you should consult with your doctor before using.” The television equivalent is 10 seconds at the end of an ad that are some of that fine print, read at 300 words a minute.
Please, please, America…
Just don’t be stupid.
* That incident happened in 1994. And she won the case.
I don’t do teeth whitening.
Before you read further, please understand that I am not judging anyone who likes to do teeth whitening. This is merely a description of my personal journey.
The photo above is my teeth — altered by Photoshop. Reality is dark, stained teeth that have seen years of coffee drinking, tetracycline ingestion as a kid, and general abuse. (However, many of you know that I am a fan of toothpaste.)
Why don’t I invest in making my teeth whiter?
- Time. It would either require a laborious application of teeth‐whitening strips or several visits to a dentist. And then, a year from now, more of the same.
- Money. Strips are expensive, and visits to the dentist for whitening are more so.
- Lack of caring about cultural trends. I don’t care enough about what our culture values to participate in this particular exercise.
- Saving the whales. Studies have shown that excessive use of white strips causes stunted growth in fetal whales, from the chemicals being washed out to sea and entering plankton.
Well, that last one is made up.