Warnings on a chair?

I was sitting at outdoor church last Sunday morning, and I noticed a family sitting in front of me.

Every one of their chairs had two-part tags hanging off.

I looked closely, and this is what I saw:

  • Warning: Do not use this chair as a hat. Serious damage to your brain may result.
  • Gluten-free
  • Dairy-free
  • Soy-free
  • Nut-free
  • Zero calories
  • Warning: Contains inedible materials. Consumption may cause cancer or heart disease.
  • Not tested on animals
  • Not intended for use while water skiing
  • Failure to comply with warnings and disclaimers may result in death.
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