Author: Paul | Page 20 | Shiny Bits of Life

February 23, 2016February 24, 2016

King of the World

Before you start reading this one, you need to know that my big brother, Bill Merrill, wrote this as a guest post. The views expressed here are not necessarily my views. But it’s certainly a fun road to go down. If you’ve read this blog very long, you already know some of the things I’d change…

crown On the ego continuum of “Mother Teresa to Mr. Trump,” I rank myself somewhere in the middle, but I do have occasional fantasies involving things I would mandate if I were “King of the World” and everyone would have to follow my commands. The list has evolved over the years. For example, I’ve dropped one I wished for during my apartment dweller days, now that I’m a homeowner. It was “Anyone arriving home after 11PM and making enough noise to awaken anyone else in the apartment complex will be subjected to severe punishment.”

I’m about to give you a partial list of the current “K.o.t.W.” rules, but first these notes: (1) Obviously if I had the K.o.t.W. power, I would try to establish world peace, end poverty & hunger, etc. This list involves selfish stuff I would require after those altruistic things are taken care of. (2) All matters of practicality and popularity are hereby put aside. I’m sure if most of these rules were implemented, they would lead to great disasters, chaos, and/or a mass uprising, but so be it. (3) The “severe punishment” for breaking these rules would be much worse than thirty lashes with a wet noodle, but the exact nature is left to the reader’s imagination. Be certain that it would be very dire indeed! (4) These are my rules. You can make your own if you become K.o.t.W. / Q.o.t.W. Also, any resemblance to Bill Maher’s “New Rules” is strictly coincidental.

Rules:

No chewing gum. This is simply because it ends up on the bottom of my shoe and sometimes in other undesirable locations (ex., under desks & tables).
No TV network or station (or online viewing source) will ever be allowed to repeat the same commercial within a single program or broadcast. A violation will result in the immediate loss of broadcasting rights.
The manufacturers of leaf blowers must redesign them to be much more quiet. Sale and ownership of noisy leaf blowers will be forbidden beginning one year after I ascend to the throne. Violators will receive extremely harsh punishment.
In a city where I live or am visiting, no tractor-trailer rigs will be permitted on the roads during morning and evening rush hours.
No recording artists or music producers will be allowed to use the sound effect of a police siren in the recordings they make. This is because if I’m driving my car and music with a siren comes on, for a moment I think it is an actual siren, and I briefly freak out.

Image credit: Southeastern Star, Creative Commons licensed via Flickr.

February 16, 2016February 13, 2016

Even though we know it

When I finished college, I hung out with a group of designers in Dallas, Texas. One of the things we enjoyed was sharing meals together at some of the town’s many many dining establishments. And we would always critique each restaurant’s menu design.

Even though we were (and some of that group still are) involved in designing things like menus – or product packages – we were and are still susceptible to the lure of a well-designed piece.

It makes logical sense that knowing we’re paying for the ambiance of a particular restaurant with basically the same food as a cheaper but more spartan restaurant a few miles away might make us head for the cheaper place – but no. Or we’ll buy a thing with a fancy box instead of the same thing in plain box.

(The budget factor does play into our decisions, of course!)

Experience includes all of our senses. We pay for experience.

Photo: I love many of the designs Starbucks creates, including this mug. And they do a pretty good job with the customer experience, as well.

February 9, 2016February 6, 2016

From wealthy to semi-criminal

It’s amazing to look at the progress we’ve made.

This legend is on a map of London from about 1900. Neighborhoods of the city were blocked off into the levels of wealth represented by their residents.

Such a map would never exist today. We all categorize people we see, but it’s not polite to even say those categories, except to the most trusted of friends.

In America, we have gated communities. You can’t drive in, unless you are given the code or are invited. You are categorized as resident, friend of resident or not welcome.

I lived in gated communities in Nairobi, Kenya, for five years. The disparity between my relative wealth and that of those not welcome was vast. Heather and I tried to do all we could to break down that barrier, for a few.

Now that we’re living back in America, the gate between us and them is more powerful. It’s time. Our memories fade and the need to help has become less urgent.

February 2, 2016February 3, 2016

A great computer

If you read my Tesla review, you might think that I desire newer, faster, better everything.

That’s not always true.

The 2011 Macbook Pro My early 2011 Macbook Pro is still humming along gracefully. Five years is a long time in computer years. (According to this website, my computer is 92 human years old.)

But it still works great. I’ve changed its battery once, added more memory (wish I could do that for me!) and swapped out the spinning hard drive for a smaller-capacity flash drive.

It’s running the latest operating system – Apple keeps supporting this old machine.

The strangest thing is that I have no burning desire for a newer Mac. Yes, I do like the newer Macbook Pros (and think the new Macbook is a thing of beauty). But the functionality of a newer Mac isn’t different enough that I’d go through the hassle and expense of upgrading. Plus, my old Mac has a CD/DVD drive – I can add music from that old fossil media source without an external drive. (However, I wouldn’t really miss that capability if mine ever died.)

Also interesting – Apple still sells my same basic computer brand-new (though it has a newer brain).

Finally, if you’re ever in the market for a Mac, I’d recommend buying a factory refurb direct from Apple. Those computers have the same warranty as all-new versions. And often, you can get the latest models as refurbs.

January 26, 2016January 24, 2016

Faster than a speeding locomotive

The acceleration was breathtaking. The amenities were amazing.

I’d say I want one, but it’s so far out of the realm of possibility that I’ll just say it was a lot of fun.

Our test drive was totally free. Mark set up the appointment to take a Tesla P90D for a spin. He drove out, I drove back. His son Zach spent the whole time sporting an ear-to-ear grin. Our salesman Drew completely understood that we wanted to go fast and have fun.

We tried out the auto-pilot mode – the car drove all by itself. Parking with no assistance was effortless.

Little features like the dashboard’s real-time speed limit sign display were captivating. Design inside and out reminded me of the perfection of many Apple products – like door handles that disappear after you’re in the car.

Back to that acceleration – the salesman claimed that only two cars are faster – the Bugatti Veyron ($1,500,000) and the Porsche 918 ($850,000). For a mere $145,000, the Tesla P90D is a steal. We drove the whole way using the Ludicrous Mode. The first time Mark mashed the pedal to the floor, my sunglasses flew off my head into the back of the car.

Tesla run on pure electric power – at least as pure as the source of that electricity (which isn’t very clean when coming from a coal-fired power plant). Electric motors have much smoother power delivery than any gas or diesel engine can provide. From 0-60, it was one smooth rush.

I’ve never tried cocaine, but this is the automotive equivalent. The acceleration was completely addictive.

Yee-hah!!

Photo by Zach.

January 15, 2016January 15, 2016

Spectrums

Spectrum 1:

Pleasure seeking: Some people put pleasure so high on their priority list that they are willing to die for it (heroin addicts and canyon-jumping motorcyclists).

Pain avoidance: Some people are so averse to the idea of pain that they refuse to leave the safety of their bedrooms.

Spectrum 2:

Ideology: Some people believe in their cause so much that they are willing to die for it (Muslim terrorists).

Lack of beliefs: Some people are so open to worldview that they don’t believe anything.

Spectrum 3:

Chaos: Some people are willing to have thirteen children and let the crumbs fall where they may.

Neatness: Some people wipe the table under their guest’s plate before they have gotten up.

Spectrum 4:

Germs: Some people never wash their hands.

Sanitation: Some people wear gloves in public.

I think everyone has tendencies to fall on one side of the center in each of these spectrums. (Note that I am using extreme examples. Humanity is like a bell curve – most people fall into the middle.) We all move around on spectrums during the course of our lives – or in the course of our days.

A beauty that lies at the extremes is that some of those people push the envelope of human experience – and that can benefit everyone.

Psychologists sometimes dump various spectrums under blanket names such as “autism” or “OCD.” But the human experience is enriched by people living off the center of spectrums.

Footnote: I know that some say the plural of “spectrum” is “spectra.” But “spectrums” is also acceptable English, these days.

January 5, 2016January 9, 2016

Skip the secret sauce

Superior State University (ironically named) has an annual list of banished words. This year’s list includes: conversation (as in, “join the conversation”), problematic, stakeholder, price point, secret sauce, giving me life, and physicality.

Part of my job involves putting words together to communicate the value that the company I work with offers. There’s a fine balance between being interesting and being too interesting.

Overused catchphrases can induce rolled eyes, soft sighs of pain or simply a click-away from the web page.

This year, let’s strive to write with words that communicate well, without harm to our readers.

Special thanks to the Wall Street Journal for pointing me to the Superior State University list.

December 29, 2015January 4, 2016

Bloom where you’re planted – or sleep where you find a bed

Floof, the cat, sleeping in a board game box lid Our cat, Floof, sleeps whenever he feels tired, which is the vast majority of every day (and night). He doesn’t need a bed to enter kitty slumbers. In this case, a board game box was a great place to begin his nap.

I find myself looking for the perfect bed before I begin my sleep. Or the perfect situation before I dive into a big project, begin that talk with a friend I’ve been putting off or start a challenging exercise regime that I know will pay off in the long run.

May we all be more like Floof – and just dive in, even if only into the world of dreams.

December 22, 2015December 21, 2015

I can’t change your mind

There’s a lot to get upset about these days. If you’re an American, the massive ego and questionable ethics of various presidential candidates is quite disturbing. But I’ve given up on saying anything about them on Facebook, Twitter or this blog. It’s just not worth the time or frustration.

Even face-to-face discussions can be frustrating. I make assumptions that my conversational partner will interpret the solution to a problem the same way I do. That’s not always true. And reaching a place of difference is rarely fun.

But small change can happen.

A good friend said, “Small change is a thing to be celebrated!” He has a very challenging relationship that’s incredibly complex and difficult. He celebrates when he sees a very small change.

I occasionally tackle little issues with my little blog, like the value of recycling, bringing your own cup or being part of a community. Maybe no one changes their attitudes or actions as a result of such posts. Or maybe, just maybe, one person will do something different.

December 15, 2015December 17, 2015

A single focus

a medicine bottle in the dark My molar was still aching, even though the dentist with a thick accent completed the filling a week ago. So it was time for ibuprofen.

After the drug was consumed, I returned to our medicine cabinet to place the bottle on its shelf. Being of orderly mind, I attempted to turn the bottle where others could quickly determine its contents.

Not an easy task. In the dark, the front of the bottle looked like the back.

A simple design choice could have solved this problem. If the designer had made “Ibuprofen” in large type with strong contrast, users could speedily identify the contents in low light or daylight.

That points to the idea, dear readers, that whatever communications piece we are creating, whether a simple email or a lengthy novel, we need to focus on our main point.