The Champs-Elysees

Alfa Romeo MitoLast sum­mer we went to Paris.

I don’t say that to brag. It was part of our visit to my sis­ter and her fam­ily, who live in Belgium.

Any­how, one after­noon, my old­est son Jay and I decided to stroll along the Champs-Elysees, a famous avenue in the city known for its roman­tic cafes and lux­ury spe­cialty shops.

Need­less to say, we didn’t sip cof­fee at a side­walk cafe. How­ever, we thor­oughly enjoyed vis­it­ing a Fiat/Lancia/Alfa Romeo shop/museum. (Jay is next to the won­der­ful Alfa Romeo Mito, a car that sadly won’t be mak­ing it to the USA.)

Arc De Triomphe wedding photoOne sur­real moment was see­ing scores of Chi­nese peo­ple get­ting wed­ding pic­tures taken in front of the Arc de Tri­om­phe.

The point of this story? My roman­tic dream of expe­ri­enc­ing The Champs-Elysees involved a leisurely brunch at one of those cafes. That didn’t hap­pen. What did hap­pen may have been even bet­ter — a fun after­noon with my son that we’ll prob­a­bly both remem­ber for the rest of our lives.

p.s. Heather and I did enjoy a roman­tic evening in Paris. We had dessert at a divey bar, not on the Champs-Elysees.

Sadness in the life of toothpaste

used-up toothpasteIf you haven’t been to to my “cut­ting floor” blog, head on over: Paul Merrill’s Tum­blr.

Review: Ink Joy

InkJoy penI love writ­ing. As in, tak­ing a pen out and drag­ging it across a piece of paper. It’s a dying art.

Paper­mate recently released their InkJoy series of pens. I bought a 6-pack (well, 4) and love the writ­ing plea­sure this pen pro­vides. It glides across the page unlike any­thing else I’ve tried.

It’s a ball­point, so the ink is maybe more per­ma­nent than a gel pen’s. And it just glides more smoothly than a gel pen ever could.

Oh — my color of choice is blue — peo­ple are more prone to believe it’s real. (That line of think­ing goes back to the xerox days — when black always meant a copy.)

Finally, no dis­clo­sure needed. I bought these with my own money. Office Depot adver­tized them, and the ad con­vinced me to give them a try. I’m glad I did.

Fun for your Friday, number 18

A cat with a remote controlIt’s hard to oper­ate a remote when you’re asleep.

Cameras have come so far

Rickenbacker guitarI love dig­i­tal cam­eras. I’ve owned some­thing like eight dif­fer­ent cam­eras over the course of roughly ten years. I keep upgrad­ing, as they con­tinue to get more pow­er­ful. My lat­est is a Sony DSC H70, which I’ve had since about June 2011. I made the switch from a beau­ti­ful lit­tle Canon, as I wanted to zoom while tak­ing video. (We no longer use a tra­di­tional video cam­era for tak­ing fam­ily videos.)

My Sony is a just few steps above a basic point-and-shoot, and yet it takes HD video and ren­ders amaz­ing sharp­ness in very low-light sit­u­a­tions, such as when I shot this bass gui­tar. (This unre­touched shot was taken while some­one was play­ing this bass!)

A huge fac­tor in my pur­chase of a dig­i­tal cam­era is that it must fit in my pocket. If I have to carry around a huge honk­ing cam­era, I guar­an­tee I would take less pho­tos than I take now. “In the ball­park” qual­ity is bet­ter than no shot at all.

Snow fun

We had a huge snow­fall on Decem­ber 22nd. The rem­nants are still melt­ing away, in spite of a few days in the 60 degree range (fahren­heit, or 15–20 c).

Since that was before Christ­mas, our neigh­bor had his mas­sive light dis­play on — even though some of it got buried in snow.

Woody Allen’s house

Woody Allen's Sleeper HouseOn Christ­mas after­noon, we went sled­ding near Gene­see, Col­orado. The hill we chose is about 20 min­utes’ drive from our house. The sled­ding was in the shadow of the “Sleeper House” — named that after its appear­ance in the film “Sleeper” — that Woody Allen directed and starred in dur­ing 1973. It’s also known as the “Sculp­tured House” and has its own Wikipedia page.

You can eas­ily see the house from I-70, the largest high­way that goes from Den­ver through the moun­tains, over to Utah. But this was the clos­est I had been to the house.

This house has been for sale sev­eral times since we’ve lived in Den­ver — most recently last Octo­ber. I remem­ber one of those times, it was in a sad state. The news­pa­per arti­cle men­tioned that it was falling apart. I think it has been refur­bished a few times since then. The owner before the most recent sale had a $3.4 mil­lion mort­gage on the home. It sold for $1.5 mil­lion. (Ouch!)

The Poison Pill

This short story is a guest post by my brother Bill, for your hol­i­day read­ing plea­sure. (Thanks Bill!)

It’s a lit­tle dark in the con­text of your opti­mistic beginning-of-a-new-year moods, but I still think it’s entertaining.


castleOnce there was a cruel and clever king. He lived in a large cas­tle on a high hill­top, over­look­ing a beau­ti­ful green val­ley and a lake. In those days, a dragon took up res­i­dence in the king­dom. The dragon let it be known that he would destroy all the vil­lages one by one unless he was given a beau­ti­ful vir­gin to eat. When the King heard this, he grew angry and turned red in the face. He bel­lowed, “We do not nego­ti­ate with ter­ror­ists!” (The King liked to refer to him­self using the royal “We.”) He refused to meet the dragon’s demands.

To show his con­tempt for the dragon and dis­dain for the serfs, the King made his courtiers put on a comedic play where a dragon ate a whole vil­lage. The role of the dragon was played by the largest and fat­test noble. Each time he “ate” a vil­lager, he let out a loud, con­vinc­ing belch. Sit­ting next to the King, his only child, the lovely (and vir­ginal) Ses­beth, did not laugh. She was as kind as her father was cruel. Ses­beth loved the peo­ple of the king­dom, and they loved her. Despite all of that, her father trea­sured Ses­beth more than all else in the world. In his cold, cruel heart, he had a soft spot for his daughter.

Not hav­ing received his trib­ute of a lovely vir­gin, one bright morn­ing the dragon flew over the vil­lage of Moss­felk, breath­ing flames and burn­ing every­thing to the ground. Upon hear­ing this, the King stub­bornly refused to change his stance. “No nego­ti­at­ing!” he shouted again, although per­haps with a bit less con­vic­tion. Over the next few days the dragon destroyed two more vil­lages, Humpert and Rosehearth.

Now the King began to worry. If all his vil­lages were destroyed, where would he get his annual trib­ute of gold? Who would har­vest the food that spread across his din­ner table? He sum­moned his court wiz­ard, the ancient and wise Albrey. The King told Albrey of a plan he had devised, and required him to fash­ion a dop­pel­ganger for Ses­beth. The faux Ses­beth would be exactly like her in every way except one. She would be ensor­celled with a pow­er­ful spell that would instantly destroy her killer.

Albrey imme­di­ately set about research­ing the task, search­ing through his spell­books. He also qui­etly gath­ered bits and pieces of from the life of Princess Ses­beth, such as one of her neglected child­hood dolls, a scarf she no longer wore, and bits of her hair from a used hair­brush. Finally he began cre­at­ing the dop­pel­ganger, work­ing through the night. Just to have a name for his project, he decided to call her Tesh. Peo­ple in the cas­tle didn’t know what was going on, but they saw mys­te­ri­ous flashes of light and heard rum­bling noises, and they wondered.

Finally Albrey was fin­ished. He secretly brought Tesh to the King’s quar­ters. The King walked slowly around Albrey’s cre­ation, whistling as he admired the result. “She’ll do,” he said. Albrey explained that Tesh could only exist for ten days, at which point she would dis­ap­pear in a puff of smoke. The King called for his Cap­tain of the Guard. He ordered that the most trust­wor­thy and brave guard be brought to him. Moments later, a sturdy guard named Morrt stepped into the King’s cham­bers. He appeared some­what ner­vous, but also res­olute in his pos­ture as he awaited the King’s orders. The Cap­tain was dis­missed, and the King told Morrt what he wanted. Refer­ring to Tesh, he started with “She looks like the Princess, but it’s not her.” Morrt was to take Tesh away under a cloak and hide her in a remote cham­ber within the cas­tle until she could be taken to the dragon’s den.

Ses­beth awoke the next morn­ing feel­ing appre­hen­sive. Some­thing was wrong. She couldn’t say what was wrong, but she felt strangely com­pelled to go to the tallest tower in the cas­tle, and the tower cham­ber where pris­on­ers were some­times kept. There, she met Morrt. She com­pelled him to tell her what was going on. At first he resisted, but even­tu­ally the Princess’ beauty and gen­tle nature defeated his fear of the Cap­tain and King, and her told her what he knew.

Not know­ing any­thing about the mag­i­cal aspects of Tesh’s cre­ation or her hid­den nature, Ses­beth was hor­ri­fied that this looka­like girl would be sac­ri­ficed in her place. She quickly decided what she must do.


That after­noon, Morrt rode out. On the horse beside him rode a cloaked fig­ure. The King watched from his win­dow high above the court­yard and gate, finally turn­ing away when they left his view.

Two days passed, includ­ing the expected time of the dragon’s next vil­lage attack, but no attack came. Indeed, the King’s scouts reported that it appeared the dragon had left the king­dom! Receiv­ing the news, the King rushed through the cas­tle until he found his daugh­ter, eager to cel­e­brate her sur­vival and the suc­cess of his scheme.

As he approached Ses­beth, how­ever, he noticed her expres­sion, an odd sort of grim, wide smile. Then she threw her head back and laughed, a loud, gut­tural cackle. The King imme­di­ately knew some­thing was wrong. An instant later, he real­ized what had hap­pened — the girl who stood before him was not Ses­beth, but rather the wizard’s cre­ation, Tesh. His com­pas­sion­ate daugh­ter must have fig­ured out what was hap­pen­ing, and sac­ri­ficed her­self instead. In his rage and grief, the King drew the jewel encrusted dag­ger he always wore from the sheath at his belt, and fiercely plunged it deep into Tesh’s chest. Only then did he remem­ber the ter­ri­ble spell, and his mighty cry was quickly silenced as the he and Tesh each dis­in­te­grated into twin piles of ashes.

Ever stood next to a known criminal?

A bad guy's fake driver's licenseI am still tak­ing a break from blog­ging until 2012, but here’s another post you may have missed. This orig­i­nally appeared in my first blog on July 20, 2006. Con­text: I was liv­ing in Nairobi, Kenya, Africa. The rules of life are a lit­tle dif­fer­ent there.

A few weeks ago, a col­league asked me if I would stand in a police line-up. This friend had his iden­tity stolen here in Kenya. A South African white guy stole his credit card info (along with oth­ers’) and had made tens of thou­sands of dol­lars of purchases.

The police offi­cer said he didn’t know enough white guys to fill a line-up for wit­nesses to look at. So he asked my col­league if he could find some white men. (Thus, me, along with about eight other col­leagues.) My first reac­tion was, “What if the wit­nesses think I look more like the crim­i­nal than the crim­i­nal does? I don’t want to go to prison!” Then he assured me the offi­cer said there was no chance any of us non-criminals would be con­victed. Mostly I said yes because my other col­leagues did. I fig­ured if they thought it was safe, it prob­a­bly was safe.

In the end, we didn’t stand in a line, as the crim­i­nal chose the option of not stand­ing in a police lineup.

While we were wait­ing for things to get sorted out, the police offi­cer basi­cally said, “We trust you (white) peo­ple.” (And then he implied some­thing like, “This guy really ruined our perceptions!”)

The photo? The police offi­cer gladly gave me the oppor­tu­nity to take that shot. (You should always carry your cam­era!) Of note: he had a South African “Tem­po­rary Pass­port” (what­ever that is!) and a fake Cal­i­for­nia driver’s license (with the address on the card being, “Queen Rd TX” (Yes, that’s sup­posed to be “Texas”.) On the back of the “license” it said “Prop­erty of the US Government”.

The whole inci­dent really gave me a good feel­ing about the Kenyan police. They did a great job appre­hend­ing the crim­i­nal. Admit­tedly, he did some pretty stu­pid things, like try­ing to steal from the same shop three times. (The third strike was his out.)

And another thing he didn’t do was con­sider the con­se­quences of his actions. In the Nairobi news­pa­per on the same day as our line-up expe­ri­ence was this story, “Con­di­tions in [Kenyan] Pris­ons Worst in the World, says Official.”

Let her sleep: Repost

I am indeed tak­ing a break from blog­ging until 2012, but I thought you would enjoy a post you may have missed. This orig­i­nally appeared on Jan­u­ary 5, 2011.

When Heather and I first went to Africa (1991), we were part of a 3-month-long train­ing pro­gram that was designed to help us love Africa. And adjust to liv­ing there. Part of our train­ing involved liv­ing with a fam­ily in rural Kenya for two weeks.

It was a stretch­ing time, to say the least. (We still keep in touch with one of the fam­ily mem­bers, which shows you it was a good experience.)

Any­how, they ate din­ner start­ing at about 9 pm. We were pretty tired by that time of the day, and lis­ten­ing to lively con­ver­sa­tion in Kikamba (their lan­guage) for sev­eral hours was not always our choice of a relax­ing way to end the day.

So one night about halfway through our time with the fam­ily, just before din­ner, Heather and I were chill­ing in our small room. Our guest knocked on the door to say it was din­ner­time. I went to din­ner alone. I said, “In our cul­ture, it is wrong to wake some­one when they are sleep­ing.” They bought it — after a lit­tle dis­cus­sion on my part.

I knew she needed a break.